Welcome to My Blog
Breathe, Relax, Focus
In my psychotherapy practice I have resisted the personal urge, and the sometimes pressure from clients, to dive straight into the very specific crisis at hand. At first glance that seems the way to go but over the past twenty-plus years I have learned that it is best to breathe, relax, focus and lay a solid foundation first.
The first dozen or so posts in this section are foundational. They can be applied to any situation, and I highly recommend sitting with them, absorbing them and mastering them. They are not going to mention menopause at all. Every so often I will post a “How Can This Help with Menopause?” blog to give examples and tie it all together. But trust me, these will help in many areas of daily life.
My style is to teach through metaphor, anecdote and humor but that in no way takes away from the clinical and theoretical underpinnings of these skills. Add them to your toolbox and you will be well on your way to coping with whatever life and/or menopause throws your way.
The Coping Skills category is best read in order of oldest to newest. These skills build one upon the other. To do so, start on Possum Philosophy
The Eight Essentials
There is a statement on the FAQ's page of this site that acknowledges that over the course of a thirty year career it is virtually impossible to remember what concepts are original and what concepts I have picked up from other sources along the way. I believe the...
Greatest Success, Greatest Distress
It is entirely up to you how often you employ your self assessments. If you are actively engaged in personal growth and development, and I hope you are, I would recommend the following schedule: The Gentle Self Assessment (Nelson’s Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters)...
The Thought – Mind Continuum
In keeping with the recent topic of continuums, this is another entry in the self-awareness skill list. I read an amazing book several years ago called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (see resources page.) It is simultaneously spot on, eye opening and sometimes...
The Chin Hair That Wouldn’t Die
“Hi, I’m Kim. What brings you in today?” “Make it stop. I don’t care what it takes. If it hurts. What it costs. Just make it stop.” “I’m sorry. I’m not quite following…”. “I pluck and I pluck and I pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck!” I realized I sounded like the Grinch –...
Skills Applications for Menopause #1
By now you have likely noticed that none of the coping skills blogs specifically mention menopause. If this causes you to tilt your head to the side like Nipper, the old RCA dog, allow me to explain. The most valuable and effective coping skills are those that can be...
Gentle Self Assessment
One of the all-time favorite handouts of my professional career is Portia Nelson’s “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters”. It goes hand in hand with the previous survival skills entry “Possum Philosophy”. Human beings are notorious for repetitive thinking and...
Existing – Living – Thriving
When most people think of developing skills in order to have happier, healthier lives we think in terms of ‘coping skills’ – something to actively ‘do’ to deal with a particular issue. It’s a slay-the-dragon mentality. Slay it, put it behind us, battle the next one....
Start with Simple and Easy
My father was a mechanical engineer. He taught me at a very young age that it doesn’t matter how well-equipped your toolbox is if you don’t have the right tool for the job at hand. As a therapist who helps clients build their coping skills toolbox, I would add that...
Possum Philosophy
Nowhere does it say that you cannot, should not, have humor with your healing. It is a universal language that takes the sting out of some very tough topics. If I can elicit at least a smile while guiding clients to look honestly at their behavior, their pain, their...
Drafted or Enlisted into the Menopausal Militia?
You may have noticed in the declaration poem on the home page a reference to being “drafted” into menopause versus being “enlisted” into menopause. We wanted to be certain to acknowledge and provide resources for the women who are not “of a certain age” but find...
MM Emblem Decoded (Full Story)
The meaning behind the MM Emblem, our badge, our sigil.
Declaration of the Menopausal Militia
The Declaration of the Menopausal Militia is a poem by C.P. Whitaker about being not yet old but close enough – enjoy!