Welcome to My Blog
Breathe, Relax, Focus
In my psychotherapy practice I have resisted the personal urge, and the sometimes pressure from clients, to dive straight into the very specific crisis at hand. At first glance that seems the way to go but over the past twenty-plus years I have learned that it is best to breathe, relax, focus and lay a solid foundation first.
The first dozen or so posts in this section are foundational. They can be applied to any situation, and I highly recommend sitting with them, absorbing them and mastering them. They are not going to mention menopause at all. Every so often I will post a “How Can This Help with Menopause?” blog to give examples and tie it all together. But trust me, these will help in many areas of daily life.
My style is to teach through metaphor, anecdote and humor but that in no way takes away from the clinical and theoretical underpinnings of these skills. Add them to your toolbox and you will be well on your way to coping with whatever life and/or menopause throws your way.
The Coping Skills category is best read in order of oldest to newest. These skills build one upon the other. To do so, start on Possum Philosophy
Skills Applications for Menopause #4
As noted in the first Skills Application blog, none of the individual coping skills blogs specifically mention menopause. The most valuable and effective coping skills are those that can be applied across a wide spectrum of life’s issues. Here’s how to apply those...
Intentionality
Intentionality is a gamechanger. But sadly, it is something all but the most resolute of us are lacking. Why is that? Because it requires all the elements of HARD – commitment, routine, pausing, self-assessment, realignment with our values, restarting with focus. Any...
Love Notes
I pulled an oldie but a goodie out of my hat the other day in working with a couple that had been on a significantly long and meaningful “good run”. Both had worked diligently on themselves and on their marriage and as a result had experienced a smooth period of...
Brush the Damn Cat
It is beginning to get ever so slightly nippy outside in the morning. I am blessed with a long wrap around porch on the front of an old farmhouse on the outskirts of town. I call it living in the country but someone who actually lives in the country would probably...
Matrix Moment
In 2001 while working as a Child and Family Therapist in a public mental health agency I quickly learned that teaching traditional Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to a group of depressed, anxious and angry adolescents made their eyes glaze over. CBT is a valuable,...
Skills Applications for Menopause #3
As noted in the first Skills Application blog, none of the coping skills blogs specifically mention menopause. The most valuable and effective coping skills are those that can be applied across a wide spectrum of life’s issues. You, as a MM reader, are getting in on...
Sloooooow Down
I am a huge proponent of meditation. I recommend it and teach various styles to most of my clients. I often refer to myself as a meditation practitioner. But the truth of the matter is that I am not much more than a wannabe. A heavy-duty wannabe because I really,...
The Five Bad Boys of Stress
Back in the day - I’m talking thousands of years ago - when we turned a corner and ran into a saber-toothed tiger or some other imminent danger, we were hardwired to either fight or flee. To give us the boost we needed to do either one of those actions our body...
I Statements are the Bomb!
I Statements truly are “the bomb”. They are the epitome of communicating how we are feeling in a healthy format. They are also self-protective in that they are so clear and succinct that they cannot be turned around and used against us. I imagine most of us have...
Primary versus Secondary Emotions
This is one of those foundational coping skills pieces. Generally found in people’s QII (see Start with Simple and Easy). Regardless of the immediate issues at hand, this will serve you well. It doesn’t take long when working with a new client for them to make a...
Skills Applications for Menopause #2
As noted in the first Skills Application blog, none of the coping skills blogs specifically mention menopause. The most valuable and effective coping skills are those that can be applied across a wide spectrum of life’s issues. You, as a MM reader, are getting in on...
Top Two Life Laws
Before the television show and the celebrity status, before the controversies and his decision to not renew his professional license, Phillip McGraw, PhD. wrote a book called Life Strategies that was published in 1999. In it he expounds on ten “life laws” to live by,...